I like to think of myself as a realist. I don’t like drama. I grew up with chaos and drama and I choose to not entertain it. This makes for a sometimes difficult relationship with my mother- source of my childhood chaos and drama. I believe that I learned a lot from growing up in that environment. I stop and think before I react- most of the time.
Even being pregnant and full of hormones, I analyze my behavior and if necessary, apologize for it- profusely. My husband is a very practical man and can come across as insensitive, when in fact, he will do almost anything for anybody, friend, family member and strangers.
I visit a pregnancy website for insight on all things related and I read so much drama. I don’t engage, but it is hard not to want to finger wag at some of the nonsense I see there. Women with boyfriends having their 3rd child and being dumped. Ladies, choose who you mate with wisely. Apparently that is an insensitive approach to a situation. But the last thing I think someone who continually makes bad decisions needs is a virtual hand pat. It annoys me. I don’t tolerate self made victims very well.
I have spent the last 3 days, mostly in bed, with degenerative disc pain. Excruciating pain that, previously, warranted narcotics. Now because of my condition I could only alternate tylenol and ibuprofen with heat and cold. The only one who suffered aside from myself, was my husband. He had to do more and tend to me more than usual. Oh and hear my yelps of pain from the muscle spasms. I thought about posting my condition on the boards for any insight to easing the pain but thought better. All they are good for is a collective pity party. Not my style and so my issue remains my problem.
Maybe that is another reason I was hoping for a boy this time. Most females are way too sensitive and I have little patience for that once a certain age is reached. What is that age? I’m not sure. My daughter tends to overreact to the slightest discomfort or pain. Put a new pair of Nike basketball shoes on her and she walks like Tiny Tim. Very dramatic. But I don’t want to damage her for life so I temper my reaction – most of the time. Other times I reach critical mass and tell her to ‘butch up’.
Don’t misunderstand me, I am thrilled to be having another girl. Girls are great and funny and charming and sweet and oy….high maintenance. I’m pretty high maintenance too except I have found a way to manage my own maintenance. I know a couple of females that are what I have diagnosed as ‘histrionic’. Yeah I looked it up. And it fits…to a tee.
My summation of life is this over used yet relevant statement:
If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.
Nuff said.
